Loneliness

Alone without you.
Suffering fills my platter.
Belly full of pain.

(untitled)

Secrets through my veins.
Always conscious of past sins.
Heart pumping out guilt.

(untitled)

Shouted words uncovering hidden rage.
Empty promises. Betrayed trust.
What have I dont to make you doubt me?
What have I said to prove myself a liar?

Duties done out of obligation.
My payment for the privilege of enduring this torture.
My gratitude for prison bars and stifled opinions.
The spit in the face that you call affection.

Climbing the never-ending stairs to a family
And still falling when I'm halfway there.
Love never reciprocated.
Living an empty life.

(untitled)

Opening my chest.
A hole where my heart once was.
Empty bitterness.

The Lecture

Angry shouts,

Uncomforted tears.

We take turns yelling,

Hearing, never listening.

I am always the one to blame

The wisdom placed upon you age

Makes you impervious to change

-But not me.

I couldn't possibly understand

An "adult" when convenient for you

But mostly a "child"

The opinions of which are beyond consideration.

A "conversation" that turns into a two-hour lecture

Your thoughts never interrupted

Mine always challenged

The thoughts behind my tears are vanity.

In the end, what do we have

But a sore throat and puffy eyes?

Tears fall down my face.

An emptiness never filled.

No one to hold me.

Tiger Woods scandal

I just have to speak up about this Tiger Woods thing since they won't let you turn on the tv at all without some spoof or comment about how terrible his infidelity was.

I realize exactly how biting and hurtful adultery is. I understand why people are shocked and appalled by that kind of behavior...But why are we acting like Tiger Woods is the first person in human history to commit adultery?! Where were the "E News" reports when Morgan Freeman and his wife got a divorce, when Eric Benet went to rehab for being "addicted to sex"? What happened to Larry King being in the spotlight for his little mistake?

I'm not particularly interested in what Tiger Woods does, ever. I'm a little upset that he would even think about cheating when his existing wife looks so gorgeous...but what has Tiger done for me? It has been said that this is a big deal because people look up to Tiger Woods...For what?! I don't see Tiger on campaigns for curing childrens' diseases, or donating millions to charity. He is a golf player! And a human! Bill Clinton ran our country and committed adultery, and somehow people still respect him.

In my opinion, Tiger Woods screwed up. Big deal. Now we all know he's just another pervert in America.

Man Stealers

I want to interrupt the rambling about my various pet peeves to talk about a subject that one of my followers on twitter mentioned this morning: women who mess with taken men.

She (my follower) asked "Do females like the fact that they are [sleeping with] another woman's man? Don't you want your own? I'm stingy and dont like to share..." I replied saying that i agreed, and that some of those triflin' tramps must justify it by saying that if he's sleeping with them he must not really be in love with his girl.

I just HAVE to talk about this because it's got me thinking now.



A woman that takes another woman's man (KNOWINGLY) is one of the worst types of people, in my opinion. Whether he happens to be married or not, that woman is completely going against the value and respect of a relationship, a bond between two people. And in this instance I blame things primarily on the woman. I know that men can be sneaky and some actually pursue lil' flings on the side...But I'm talking about when the woman initiates the "relationship" and is purposefully taking a man from his girl to spend time with her.



How would that girl feel if a woman did that to her man?! Could she blame her? Could she then try to switch things around to make it like that tramp is any worse off than her? Not really.

...Then again, this girl probably doesn't have a man. And if she does, she can't keep one. She thinks that a relationship is just fun, that two people can only be happy if they're sleeping with each other. And that is why she is most likely a lonely, confused, immature girl in desperate need of attention. I wouldn't be sorry if she never gets married or has a stable relationship... She doesn't deserve one.

Pet Peeves #4

(On to the next one...)

I hate when people (mostly your friends) keep asking you for things, but don't ever give you anything in return.

Now, I'm a nice person...and I don't mind doing things for other people if I have the time and/or money for it. But if it gets to the point where you're asking 2....3....4...5 times for something from me and I have no reason to believe that you're EVER gonna do anything for me, why should I say yes?! I NEED SOME RECIPROCATION!

I have this friend that is always looking for something to do (which is not rare because I live in a very small state and we're always bored). So my twin sis and I often go pick her up and then go to the movies, out to dinner, etc. But it got to the point where she started expecting us to automatically do things for her. (Note: 1, she doesn't have a car, and 2, she doesn't have a job.) One time we went to the beach to meet some friends (I drove of course) and when all of us had gone our separate ways, she said she was hungry and could we go out to eat. So I said yes. When we got to my favorite seafood place down there she ordered soup, and had some of my appetizer, and shrimp (which is expensive), and some dessert. I was so mad. Not once did she ask "What's my limit?" or "Would you mind if I got...?" No. She assumed that she could get whatever she wanted. And she NEVER thanked me. Of course I had the money to pay for it, but 1) I am a full-time student with a part-time job. I don't make THAT much, 2) It's just common courtesy to ask a limit or something when you're being treated...no matter how many times they've paid for you in the past. If she had simply used some manners, I would've probably said "Oh, you can get whatever you want." But PLEASE don't take advantage of me! She has never paid for ANYTHING for me...EVER!

...And I apparently didn't learn from that mistake because I continue to take this girl out. One time I was so bored and my twin sis was at work so I was all alone. And I didn't wanna go home, so I asked this girl (again) if she wanted to come out to eat with me. This time she thanked me, we had a good time, and she said she'd pay me back with some money she got from babysitting. I saw her maybe 2 or 3 times after that (during those next couple of weeks)... and nothing. She didn't even mention it! I guess she thought I forgot. And I'm not gonna ASK for like $10 from a week ago! But the least she could've done was offer again to pay me back for half of the meal. I probably would've told her not to worry about it. But it's the principle! Meanwhile, she was going out and spending money on Taco Bell and going out to the movies with other friends... (Sigh). Just triflin'. (I haven't taken her out and PAID for her since. I only take her out if she has money.)

Pet Peeves #3

it's that time again.... (yay!!) On to number 3 on my long list of things that annoy me...

Gossip. The small, six-letter word that can cause so much damage. Gossip is defined (in my Webster's Dictionary) as "trifling talk, especially about other persons". It is when you make it a point to talk about someone's business other than your own.

Now, gossip can be a good thing. But that's not the kind of gossip that pisses me off...I can't stand the bad, malicious, "catty" type of gossip that (mostly) girls are known for. If it doesn't involve me I do NOT want to hear about it. I could care less what that person does in their spare time, who they're dating, what movie they saw, or who they went out with. And YOU shouldn't either. That's my philosophy.

I had a bad experience once where this girl (who was supposed to be a pretty good friend of mine) decided that the subject of her conversations was going to be a girl that I'll name Jamie. Now I've known Jamie and her family literally since I was born. I know all of her brothers and sisters, her aunts, uncles, and am basically considered a part of her family. I wasn't too too close to Jamie herself, but I was with her family in general. But a new guy had moved in the area (the brother of this girl), and he liked Jamie. So they would hang out every once in a while. But this girl couldn't stand it. She hated Jamie and didn't want her brother to see her. She claimed that they were dating and doing all kinds of stuff that they shouldn't have been doing. So one day I get a call from my grandfather who says that Jamie called him saying, "Erin and Erica (my sister) have been saying that me and [the girl's brother] are dating! Why would they say that?" This hussie (the girl who was supposed to be my friend) had told some crazy lie to her brother about how we were spreading all these lies about them and talking bad about Jamie behind her back... I was furious! Not only did she twist things around and put words in my mouth, but she lied about me instead of 'fessing up herself! Ugh!! You can't trust people sometimes. (So, needless to say, I'm not friends with that girl anymore.)

...And she ruined our friendship with Jamie forever. There will always be that doubt now about my reputation and what I'm saying about her... Gossip can really damage your life.

Pet Peeves #2

alright, on to my second pet peeve...let's see...

#2
I cannot stand talking to a person with a lisp! Don't ask me why...I guess I've been raised by a very intelligent, articulate family...and when I talk to a person with a lisp I automatically picture them as being unintelligent. Plus it's just distracting. How can we have a normal conversation if all I can think about is that last word with an "s" in it that you mispronounced?? Lol. I once had a good-looking, light-skinned black man come up to my window at my job (at Rita's Italian Ice)...and I was thinking, "Man, he is so cute". I couldn't wait for him to open his mouth and say something...and then he did. With one of the worst lisps I've ever heard in my life, he said, "Can I have two large Misto shakes?"...Ugh...deal breaker. And I felt so terrible afterwards because he seemed like the sweetest thing in the world. Little did he know...that lisp gave him an "X" in my book.

(DISCLAIMER: I really don't mean to offend anyone. These are my thoughts. I told you was sarcastic...)

Pet Peeves #1

I thought it would be fun to start blogging about some of my many pet peeves...we can get tons of info out of that :) lol...
So buckle your seatbelts, and here we go.....

#1
I cannot stand a big ego. It makes a person instantly unattractive to me. Why would you want to elevate yourself over others? I understand having confidence in yourself (honestly, it's something I have to work on, but I respect it tremendously)...but in no way should that translate into putting others down and shoving your successes in their faces. Just stop. You're really not that important. I don't care if you're Jay-Z, Kanye, or even just a guy I graduated with... Nothing that you can do can add a day onto your life, can it? If Jesus came out of heaven and still humbled himself in front of others, why can't you?! Narcissism is actually a sign of weakness to me, while humility is a display of strength.

Cartoon Lover

Am I the only person who still finds joy in watching cartoons? Sometimes I wonder if that means I'm still not mature because I'd rather watch Cartoon Network and Adult Swim than Oprah most days...(sigh)

...I say this because, yes, I'm watching cartoons right now. And Looney Tunes at that. I have two DVD sets of classic Looney Tunes episodes...and they never get old, believe me :) Sometimes the kid in you never dies, I guess.

I'm new to this whole blogging thing, but I thought I would start off by at least talking about something that has been on my mind for a while... Love <3

Love is something that has to be reciprocated. I can't stand anything more than feeling like I'm the only one contributing to a relationship. And that thought applies to all relationships, too. You should never be the only one trying to make it work, you should never feel like all your hard work is going unnoticed. Sure, you're not gonna get a medal or a cookie every time you do something right, but a thank you, a hug, any kind of acknowledgment is definitely welcome! If you feel unappreciated for a certain length of time, it may mean that you need to get out... Just saying.